Character Scene/Script
Suitcase and Baseball (Suitcase is sitting at the dock, and looks at her reflection sadly. Baseball walks over, and Suitcase looks up.)
Baseball Suitcase? Why are you sitting here all by yourself?
Suitcase Well, sometimes it's good to be alone for a little while. At least, I think so.
Baseball Listen, when we suggested that you steal the battery and everything, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. It's just-
Suitcase I've... never been under pressure like that before, stressed that any second, someone was gonna jump out and scream in my face, (screams) "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU'RE GONNA GET NOTHING BUT WHAT YOU DESERVE!" (fire in her eyes) "DEATH! LET DEATH BE YOUR PUNISHMENT!" (returns to normal) ...yeah.
Baseball ...I know Nickel comes off as strong sometimes, but it's just that he expects a lot out of us. He believes in us. (smiles) Alliance to the end, right?
Suitcase Yeah. (smiles) You bet.
Baseball Alright! (walks away) Good talk.
Suitcase (sitting at the dock still) Good talk. Yeah. (stares in the distance, then looks to the left)
(Scene: Balloon is sitting on the end of a cliff, staring into the distance. Suitcase enters and sits down next to him.)
Suitcase This place is beautiful!
Balloon Up here, everything's below us. And we don't need the approval of others. Plus, the sunset's nice.
Suitcase Yeah, solid 8 out of 10, wouldn't watch again- wait, approval? That sounded a little off.
Balloon Oh, trust me, there was a time I thought I needed their approval.
(Flashback: Balloon is standing outside Hotel OJ in the rain, holding a piece of paper.)
Balloon (clears throat) Hey, OJ. I just figured I'd pop by... I mean, drop. Drop by. I, uh, think that maybe we could... talk it over? Who knows. Maybe, you'll change your mind? No, no. Too forceful. Uh...
OJ (standing in the doorway of Hotel OJ) Ahem! How long are you planning on pacing back and forth here?
Balloon Oh, uh... Hey, OJ. I just, uh, figured I'd, uh-
OJ -is that a note sheet? (gets the paper and reads Balloon's apologies, then sighs) Oh, boy. Come in for a minute.
(Balloon comes in the hotel, where several people are partying, but stop due to Balloon's presence, they then walk away)
OJ Listen, if you want to say something, you've gotta be real with me here.
Balloon *sigh* It was all in the game, OJ. I was... just playing the character. You know... the character that wins. I- I didn't mean to burn bridges. Can't we all just... start over?
OJ The show can put this.. pressure on people, and the competition can make you feel this need to take on a role. In a way I still do, mine's sort of the caretaker now. But it's mostly in the past.
Balloon The past? Because you got away from it?
OJ Well, yeah. I can understand that it was a game and what you did, it's not all there is to you. But almost all these guys: Bomb, Pickle, Pepper, the other one, *Softens voice* they didn't play a game, they really think you're... *Normal voice* you know, why would you want them anyway?
Balloon Because- it's you guys! We collected lemons, we stood on a cliff, *teary* it's gotta be you!
OJ If you never give anyone else a chance, it can ONLY BE us!
Balloon What?
OJ Uuh... *sigh* You've only done all these things with them, you have a brand new opportunity to meet people now, and I'm sure at least one of them will accept you, you've just gotta find them. Oh and uh, take this *picks umbrella*. I'm not a really big fan of the rain and I know how it feels to be diluted, *shivers* it's just gross.
Balloon But... I don't want to.
(Thunder rumbles, flashback ends)
Balloon You see, OJ wouldn't let me talk!
Suitcase Balloon, you can't manufacture an apology like that, it has to come from a place of truth.
Balloon It never works! And nobody even cares. (Wipes a tear away)
Suitcase Well, I care. You just need to believe in what you say. Otherwise, no one will.
(Soap and Microphone are walking on an incline, with Soap holding a bucket of cleaning supplies and Microphone holding a triple-sided mop.)
Soap Thanks for helping me with this Mic.
Microphone Hey, no problem. I never knew there was such a thing as a triple-sided mop to get to the hard to reach places.
Soap This urge to clean is like a bizarre defense mechanism. A spider crawling on my back waiting to BITE ME.
Microphone Oh yeah, I hate it when those happen.
Soap But I realized you can scrub as hard as you want, but life would never be squeaky clean, you know.
Microphone Yeah, I wish I started talking to you a LOT earlier. My input isn't really valued by the rest of the team.
Soap Well, on a team, everyone's opinion matters. And even for yourself, Microphone. You need to listen to your heart, like I'm about to do now! (She raises her cleaning supplies over the cliff, about to "drop" them) ...Right now, any second... hheere IIIII go-No! I can't!
Microphone What?
Soap I've scrubbed my whole life, I can't give it up now. (Microphone gasps) You see (she starts singing) cleaning's my life and when I'm feeling down- (Microphone slaps her)
Microphone PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER WOMAN! (She throws the cleaning supplies down the cliff) UH!
Soap NOOOOOooo... thanks.
(Elimination center)
MePhone4 Welcome to elimination time! I know it's your favorite part of the show.
Knife Actually, I find it boring and repetitive.
MePhone4 Well, maybe this will be your last one.
Knife Oh, yeeeaah...
Nickel Um, Knife, have you gone over your sarcasm notes lately?
Knife Um... Noooooooo...
Nickel I have failed you.
MePhone4 This time, the prizes are concert tickets to Spoiled Lemon.
Microphone Wow! Those are hard to come by!
Nickel Ha! I'm just gonna scalp that ticket online!
MePhone4 You won't be scalping jack SQUAT if you're eliminated!
Knife Gasp.
MePhone4 Alright MePad, let's show the votes!
MePad Sir, I believe Toilet would like to pitch in and show the votes today.
Toilet That's right! I made the little cards with colored paper, and glitter, and everything. You like 'em? (MePhone4 blows the cards away) NOOO! I worked so hard on those, especially the pink ones, they're my favorite ones!
MePhone4 Okay, Baseball (194), Knife (505), Suitcase (706), and Microphone (486) are all safe.
Knife Too bad Spoiled Lemon went downhill when the lead singer left.
Microphone Psh... Starfruit was an attention hog anyway.
MePhone4 It's down to Soap, Nickel, and Balloon. MePad, show the votes.
MePad As you wish... (loads the votes)
(Soap and Balloon get fear of who will be eliminated as the votes are loading, except for Nickel, who was indifferent. All this while dramatic music plays. MePad reveals that Balloon (1063) and Nickel (1731) are safe, while Soap is eliminated with 2663 votes. Everyone but Nickel and Soap gasp.)
Soap There must be a mistake! Someone clean his hardware! I'd do it, but I CAN'T!
MePhone4 Im-possible! I always give everyone exactly what they deserve.
Toilet Oh...
Soap Wait... Actually, my mistake. I didn't realize that forcing your teammate to steal still kept you in the game, but pointing out the crime though? What a disgrace.
Nickel What?! We didn't force her to do anything, right Suitcase?
Suitcase (Anxiously) Yep... whatever you say...
Nickel Yep, those are the words of an independent thinker alright. You see Soap, the viewers are carnivorous wolves, they will eat you at the slightest act of rudeness.
Soap Oh, and you're still here? Whatever. Just remember who your true friends are, Suitcase. And Mic, remember to listen to year heart. (Holds up two peace signs and walks backwards to the Rejection Portal.)
Knife Oh, I thought you were going to do that thing where the person's in the middle of talking and someone knocks them into the portal and they're all like WAAAAAAH...
MePhone4 Eh, I got a little tired of that. Anyway, as for the next challenge, you're gonna have to forgive me. I've been thrown way off schedule. I've had it rough lately y'know: I was sued, tried in court, jailed, brutally sneezed on, and nearly glitched into submission, but this time, it's going to be different. We're taking things low key.
Fan Oh, you're saying this is filler!
MePhone4 It's not filler... Iiiit'ss noooot fiiillleerr... It's just, uh... we're naturally slowing down the pace.
Fan So right now... aaall of this... you're saying this is all filler?
MePhone4 It's not filler! If it was filler there'd be no significant plot developments at all. However, uh, I've just been informed that Marshmallow... uh... lost her bottle cap collection! Oh no! A beloved assortment of caps to bottles she's been gathering for ages! Paintbrush, Lightbulb, you gotta help her find them!
Marshmallow I don't even have a--
MePhone4 LOOK!
(Red NOT FILLER text flashes on the screen while a horn sound is playing)

(At once) Marshmallow: "Oh bottlecaps, where have you ruun from mee? Boooottlecaaaps... where have you ruuun?? From me-" *coughs*

Lightbulb: "Do re mi, fa, so, la ti do... do-ti-la-so-fa-mi-re-do. Oh Mr. Bottle Cap, come over here and cap my bott-les."

Paintbrush: People! We are looking for a bottle cap! Yes a bottle cap! If we do not find this bottle cap, we will sure all die a terrible death. It will be heartbreaking, and I will be sad, and cry, but I will be dead because there are no bottlecaps!

(The Grand Slams look confused)

MePhone4 Yes, occupy yourselves. Now to think of a challenge...
Microphone What do you guys think it will-(The Grand Slams leave) and you're all done... (Walks into Perilous Forest) expected about as much.
(Knife is laying on a lawn chair while Fan is pacing)
Fan I'm trying to figure out why MePhone just blew us off back there, he doesn't do that.
Knife Sure he does, didn't you notice he ditched us for the last two challenges?
Fan Well the first one he was sentenced to jail, and the second one was he was sentenced to death. So- eh, you give and take.
Knife That's hardly an excuse.
Fan Well, I'm thinking maybe you know, maybe... this isn't filler after all..
Knife You know what?
Fan What?
Knife I don't think it means a darn THING!
Fan Oh.
Knife Mr. Overthinker!
Fan Oh wow. Well think whatever you convince yourself, I mean, that's what I'd do. But there has to be a reason the organization is different.
Knife What?
Fan Wait... what if... (looks at his reflection on the Meeple logo on his MePhone) what's around us is changing because... we're changing.
Knife *gasp* Look at THAT! My LOCATION is changing! Wooah...! Everyone thinks they're a genius.
Microphone is walking through Perilous Forest, she sits down on a tree stump and begins writing in her diary)
Microphone Dear Mic's diary, for some reason, Soap got kicked out today, when it really wasn't really her time to go. Nothing much else to say, I would COMPLAIN some more, but hey, why would you care?! YOU'RE A BOOK! (Throws her diary in a bush, when suddenly, a strange voice starts reading it)
??? ...Dear Mic's Diary, today I accidentally lost the triathalon, hope no one holds it against me. Dear Mic's Diary, I don't always do well in challenges, but they have to understand and I sometimes pull through. Dear Mic's Diary, I may be loud, but I still go under the radar. Dear Mic's Diary. dear Mic's diary, dear Mic's diary. Annoying, harmful, random, useless, insignificant, LOSER.
Microphone Stop! What do you want?
Taco All I want... (jumps out on a log) is to HELP!
(Microphone screams so loud it's heard by contestants from beyond the Perilous Forest, Even by the staff, which MePhone4 is thinking of challenge ideas on a whiteboard. Taco eventually holds Microphone's power button, making her mute)
Taco We done? I have no intention of going deaf today. Alright, ready to converse in a CIVILIZED MANNER. (hits Microphone's power button, making her talk again)
Microphone *Breathes* Alright, what are YOU doing here, TACO?!
Taco Microphone, sit down. (Microphone does so) Now listen to the story of just how irritatingly PATHETIC you are and thereby, how much you need me.
Microphone WHAT DID YOU JU-
Taco Microphone, you're loose canon. A "wild card" if you will, will you? Some may call it "diverse gameplay", I recognized it as chaos that must be reigned in. Take it from last season's loudmouth, yours truly. Microphone, your moves may be bold, but they should be more precise; that's where I come into play.
Microphone Yeah? And what will it cost me?
Taco I'm just attempting to make ends meet. 50-50 split of the million, that's it.
Microphone So automatically forfeit half of my winnings? Nice try.
Taco Microphone, lets face it: without me, you'll be left with squat, not even a million squats, and you'll shed countless tears regarding might have been if you had listened to dear Taco. Just think it over Microphone, alright? Give it a good... think. Let me know if necessary. It's your game, (walks backwards into bush) you have so much to gain.
(Credits, episode ends.)