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Character Scene/Script
OJ (walks back to his new Hotel OJ on a starry night with groceries)
Apple Hey, OJ! It's so nice not to be in Idiotic Island after you rescued me!
OJ Well, I'm glad the million was put towards something we could all enjoy.
Marshmallow I would enjoy it, you know, if Apple was still gone!
Apple (throws a glass at Marshmallow, which causes her to scream and run away) Much better!
OJ Geez, Apple. After being isolated for so many months, I thought you'd be warmed up to Marshmallow by now.
Apple Oh, I'll warm her up all right! (puts on a fire on Marshmallow)
OJ How many times do I have to tell you guys, no fires in the hotel!
Lightbulb (turns on a candle) Awww....
Balloon (puts graffiti on the wall)
OJ And stop putting graffiti on the walls!
Balloon (runs away)
Pickle Hey, you can't just jump on them, you have to shoot them!
Knife Shoot this! (shoots Pickle in the videogame)
Pickle Man, you killed me!
Balloon and OJ (knocks on door, OJ opens it)
Balloon OJ, buddy!
OJ Balloon, how many times do I have to tell you? You're not allowed in here!
Balloon and OJ Well, you don't really have a choi- (OJ closes the door)
Baseball Lightbulb, stop! You've eaten like, fifty cookies already!
Lightbulb Actually, I've eaten like, fifty-three, and urbb... (makes a weird face)
Salt

So, how's my like, time?

Pepper Wait, I was supposed to be counting?
Lightbulb

(barfs on Baseball)

Baseball Aaah!
Salt Like, whatevs. I'm getting a cookie.
Baseball (has barf on his face) Don't. You. Dare.
(becomes daytime)
Nickel Mail's here!
Knife Give me those! (grabs mail) Another note from Taco.
Pickle I don't need her pity. Just throw it in the fire.
OJ (hears an airplane) Huh?
Bomb Aaah!
Baseball What's happening?
Paintbrush Guys, I think it's a... plane?
Nickel Thanks, Mr. Obvious... I think.
Lightbulb You mean Mrs. Obvious. Nanana, just playing, I really have no clue!
Baseball Well, let's go see who it is!
(scene cuts to outside of Hotel OJ)
MePhone4 (skydives off a plane, only to have his parachute come out after he hits the ground)
OJ Ummm... hi?
MePhone4 Greetings and salutations!
Balloon Uh...
MePhone4 Well, it's great to see you too! I see you've done something impressive with your prize, OJ.
OJ Thanks!
MePhone4 And since we last saw each other, Adam agreed to let me have a personal assistant for the second season. I was told I'd meet him here.
Toilet (walks near Hotel OJ) Hallo, is there a Mistah Phone here?
MePhone4 (makes a weird shocked face)
Toilet Hallo, sir! Are you the Mistah Phone I was told to assist by Master Adam?
MePhone4 (gets his phone and calls Adam) Adam, what is this... thing?
Adam I'm guessing you're referring to your new assistant. That is Toilet. We couldn't really find anyone else who wanted to assist you for some reason. Weird, huh? So yeah, there you go. (hangs up)
MePhone4 You can't be serious! Hello? Hello!?
Toilet Hallo!
Paper Uhh... why are you here again?
MePhone4 Oh, yeah, right. It's been two years since Inanimate Insanity was released. Cool, right?
Balloon No, not really.
Marshmallow Is that the only reason you flew here? Pretty terrible reason.
MePhone4 Actually, it's not! Inanimate Insanity Season 2 is taking place right here!
OJ No, it's not! My winning hotel is here! And I'm telling you, its not going any-
(plane crashes into Hotel OJ, causing OJ to shatter, and then the new contestants fall out of the plane)
MePhone4 And these are the new stereotypes! I-I mean, the season two contestants.
Lightbulb Oh, so you're replacing us with them? Really?
Cherries What's wrong with us?
Cheesy Yeah, that wasn't a bright thing to say! Hehe, get it?
Cherries (laughs) Nice one!
Lightbulb (groans)
MePhone4 Ok, let's get to it! I want some of you, the old contestants, to join the game and battle alongside them! So, check out this slot machine! Seven of you will join the game, and it'll be decided by chance!
Toilet Ooh! Ooh! Sir! Can I pull the lever?
MePhone4 No, don't touch it you filthy- I mean, can you run and get me some, uh, wires?
Toilet Sure thing, Mistah Phone!
MePhone4 It's MEPhone! Ugh...
(the slot machine spins and lands on Paintbrush)
MePhone4 Paintbrush, welcome to season two! Have anything to say?
Paintbrush Um... well, I actually had a question about-
MePhone4 Ok, let's not waste any time!
(slot machine spins)
Lightbulb It has to land on me!
(slot machine lands on Knife)
Knife Yeah!
Lightbulb Is that- oh, wait. That's not me. Darn...
MePhone4 Knife, welcome!
(slot machine spins)
Lightbulb It has to land on me!
Nickel You already said that. I just hope it doesn't-
(slot machine lands on Nickel)
Nickel -land on me. Ugh.
Lightbulb ADUUR!?
MePhone4 Nickel, congrats.
(slot machine spins)
Lightbulb It has to-
Balloon (slaps Lightbulb) No!
(slot machine lands on Lightbulb)
MePhone4 Lightbulb, you get-
Lightbulb Yeah, yeah, yeah.
MePhone4 Four spots left!
(slot machine spins and lands on Bow, making a dramatic noise when landing on her)
MePhone4 Bow! Great, another season with you. Oh, wait! You're dead!
(slot machine spins and lands on Balloon)
Balloon Yes! I can't believe it!
Salt Like, OMG! You like, talked!
Balloon Well, now that I joined the season, I figured I might as well start saying actual stuff again!
Salt But, like, nobody, like, likes you, like.
Balloon That's not true!
Toilet Here's those wires you needed, Mistah Phone-- OH MY GOSH BALLOON NOBODY LIKES YOU!!!!
Balloon Oh come on!
(slot machine spins and lands on Marshmallow)
Marshmallow Yay!
Apple Great! Now I don't have to deal with you anymore!
(slot machine spins and lands on Apple)
Apple What?! Can I quit?
MePhone4 No!
Apple But before you fling me, just tell me what quit means!
MePhone4 (throws Apple) This is the final spot.
(slot machine spins and lands on Baseball)
Baseball Oh good! I really didn't get to do much last season! Now I can finally really compete!
MePhone4 That's our Season Two cast!
Paper But our Season One winner is still dead.
MePhone4 Oh, yeah, well, let's bring him back! (opens up the MeLife app and brings OJ back)
Fan So that's how it works!
OJ Wha...what happened?
Paper We didn't make Season Two!
OJ Oh well. I don't really have a reason to be in Season Two. I mean I did win Season One, so obviously I don't need to be in Season Two. It's fine, anyways. We can all chill in my-- (notices the plane crashed into the hotel) AWE-SOME-HOTEL! What's happened!?
Salt It's okay, OJ, now we have plenty of time to fix up the hotel together. FOREVER! (picks up OJ and drags him to the hotel)
OJ Ahhhhh!
Test Tube This sems rather peculiar. I've never been on a competition before.
Trophy Let's just get to the contest so I can cream these chumps and take the million!
Lightbulb Wow! Why is he saying that? Everyone knows the mean characters get out first!
Paintbrush Mm-hmm girl!
MePhone4 Anyway, 19 contestants, one million dollars, this is Inanimate Insanity 2!
(Intro plays)
Microphone (unnecessarily loudly) So, what's the challenge?!!!!
Suitcase Oww, Mic! Turn down the volume!
Microphone (presses her power button) Sorry, that happens sometimes.
Toilet Mistah Phone! I got your wires!
MePhone4 These are just strings of half-eaten spaghetti!
Toilet Oh, sorry, sir, I didn't have my lunch break.
MePhone4 Since when did Adam give us lunch breaks?
Apple So I wonder what the new contestants are doing?
Paintbrush Hi there!
Lightbulb (slaps Paintbrush) Stranger danger!
Microphone Well, let's change that. I'm Microphone. As you can see, I am a microphone! And you must be Paintbrush and Lightbulb!
Lightbulb Wow! How did she know that?
MePhone4 Okay, okay! You guys really need to socialize, so let's do some ice breakers!
Knife Yeah! My fists can break the ice like butter!
Trophy Like those pillows you call fists will break anything.
Tissues Gwuys, I don't think that's what he meant. A-CHOO! (sneezes on Trophy)
Trophy Gross, man!
Tissues Sorry, it's my condiShAWn.
Soap

(wipes Trophy) Eww, germs! We must eliminate all of them at all costs! (laughs creepily)

Nickel Neat freak.
Test Tube Guys, ice breakers is a relative term for a way of bonding for two people that have never met.
MePhone4 Yes, and I would have said that if you all didn't interrupt me!
Fan I didn't interrupt you! I'm your biggest fan!
Cheesy He's a fan! Get it?
Cherries OK, that's not funny.
Marshmallow So what fun game are we gonna play to get to know each other?
MePhone4 Oh, well, I literally meant ice breakers. We're headed over to the Gladstonian Glacier.
Marshmallow Never heard of it.
MePhone4 Well, now you have.
(cut to the glacier, with contestants standing in front of it)
Test Tube This doesn't apply to the definition I just explained.
MePhone4 Your first challenge is to be the last one on the glacier. All pushing, shoving, kicking and horseplay is especially allowed.
Trophy Horseplay is my middle name.
Tissues That's an odd middle name...
Toilet Mistah Phone!
MePhone4 Everyone, shut UP!
Toilet Mistah Pho--
MePhone4 Let's find out who the winner of the first challenge will be. Get set, on your mark, go!
Paintbrush First things first. (pops Balloon) There we go!
Yang

I think we need to move over more to the left.

Yin NO! We should move over to the right!
Yang NO! I hate you!
Yin I hate you too! (punches himself)
Soap Scrubbing, scrubbing all day long! (laughs creepily)
Yin-Yang (pushes Soap and himself off)
Tissues Um, Trophy Horseplay, I think that we should, like, form an alliance.
Trophy Yeah, and I think, like, you should die! (kicks Tissues off the iceberg) I'd rather form an alliance with Mr. Sharp Guy over there! (approaches Knife) You seem tough.
Knife Nope, I'm not interested.
Trophy Excuse me?
Knife Sorry, but you and I are quite...different.
Trophy Um, how? We're both jocks.
Knife No, you're a jock and I'm a jerk. Big difference.
Trophy Fine, we'll settle this like men, with the ultimate--
Knife (grunts and punches Trophy off)
Lightbulb (weird face)
Fan Um, are you okay?
Lightbulb Of course! I'm just following the rules of object shows! As long as I'm not mean to anybody or interact with anything, I'll be safe--OMGA! You made me interact with you! What do I do!?! (slaps Fan off)
Baseball Nickel!
Nickel Ahh! Don't push me off!
Baseball No, I wasn't going to do that. I was just saying we have to form an alliance! I mean, OJ and Taco made it so far last season with that method and I think that we would be smart if we did that too!
Nickel How original!
Baseball I know! Anyway, two people isn't gonna cut it.
Cheesy

Wow, that idea really hits out of the park! Any way I can join?

Nickel (sigh) Of course you can! (Baseball looks confused) But in order to join, you have to look in the opposite direction.
Cheesy Wow, that idea was really worth more than 5 cents! (Nickel nods, Baseball kicks Cheesy off)
Test Tube Wow! This water seems almost near freezing! My approximate calculation would be...33 degrees Fahrenheit!
Knife We didn't ask for a chemistry lesson! (kicks Test Tube)
Test Tube Science rules!!! (falls into the water)
Box .....
Lightbulb Wow, you're really good at this non-interacting thing! How do you pull it off?
Box ?re***frehtom uoy t'ndid ,pilc siht desrever uoY
Lightbulb A true master indeed. (looks around and knocks Box off)
Apple Marshmallow, you are so getting out!
Marshmallow Well, you're so getting IN! (punches Apple off)
Knife Baseball, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to push you off.
Baseball Uh, OK?
Knife (tries to push Baseball off, but fails) No fair! Your fatness is too much to handle!
Baseball (breathes) I'M NOT FAT!!! (kicks Knife off) So who's gonna join our alliance now?
Suitcase Hi! I'm sorry Knife was so mean to you, but I'll join your alliance!
Nickel Hmm... I'm trying to find something wrong with you. Gimme a second.
Baseball Yeah, well, you're armless just like us. I think you're the perfect candidate!
Suitcase Alright!
Nickel Yay for social clicks.
Left Cherry You won't push me off, will you?
Right Cherry Of course not. But what about that thing? (points to Paintbrush)
Left Cherry Ew, what is that thing?
Paintbrush Uhhh... (backs away and bumps into Microphone)
Microphone (screams and blows Marshmallow, Nickel, Paintbrush, Suitcase and Cherries off)
Lightbulb Wow, my plan is working perfectly! (sees breaking ice) Oh, um...
Microphone Oh no... (falls in the crack in the ice and screams)
Lightbulb Baseball, this is gonna be kinda hard to win now. I can't reach!
Baseball What a coincidence, I can't either!
MePhone4 Well, the ice has been broken. I think you two just earned the spot of team captains!
Lightbulb Yea-eah!
Baseball Can I choose the teams first?
Lightbulb OMGA, I think not!
MePhone4 Actually, we're selecting the teams based on the order you all got out in the challenge. The odd numbers are on Baseball's team and the even numbers are on Lightbulb's team.
Knife Aww, I'm so sad we don't have Paintbrush. She's tall. She could come in handy someday.
Nickel Paintbrush is a girl?
Paintbrush Yeah! (pause) I'm on that team! (points to Lightbulb's team)
Baseball Wow, that all happened so fast! Hi, Team Baseball!
Nickel Um, why is it Team Baseball? That kinda contradicts to the team dynamic, you know.
MePhone4 OK, you both can choose a team name!
Lightbulb Just 'cause we're so epic, how about Team Ep--
Marshmallow NO! We are not going to be called Team Epic again!
Lightbulb Fine! Hmmm... Well, just because we're so bright...
Cheesy (slaps knee)
Lightbulb ...and because we light up this game...
Cheesy (slaps knee)
Lightbulb ...we should be the Bright Lights!
Cheesy (slaps knee)
MePhone4 You are the Bright Lights!
Baseball Since we're gonna hit this challenge out of the park...
Cheesy (slaps knee)
Baseball We're going to be the Grand Slams!
Cheesy (slaps knee) OW!
MePhone4 You are the Grand Slams! Anyway, the first team challenge is a friendly game of dodgeball.
Tissues But I'm so tired! And my condiShAWn's getting worse! (sneezes on Soap)
Soap (runs away screaming)
MePhone4 Each team gets dodgeballs. If you hit a player on the opposite team, they are out. However, if they catch it, you are out.
Nickel Well, no arms is going to make it easy to catch them.
MePhone4 So, go! Now!
Paintbrush First things first. (Pops Balloon with a dodgeball) There we go!
Trophy Just give all the balls to me.
Cheesy You'd like that, wouldn't you? Hehe, get it?
Microphone Don't go there.
Trophy You cheesy twerp! (Throws a dodgeball at Cheesy)
Knife Trophy! How could you betray our team!? (Throws a dodgeball at Trophy)
Baseball Everybody, please hit the members of the opposite team!
Lightbulb Nanana, carry on! We don't mind!
Baseball Well, I do! (Kicks a ball at Lightbulb and she catches it)
Lightbulb Pretty cool, right? They're called ARMS!
Baseball Ugh!
Nickel (Kicks a ball but Paintbrush catches it)
Paintbrush One step ahead of you, Nickel. ARMS!
Nickel Eh...
Suitcase Oh no! My alliance is gone! I'll avenge them by following in their footsteps! (Kicks a ball but Test Tube catches it)
Test Tube A-ARMS!
Suitcase Well that was unexpected...
Soap Guys, these dodgeballs are so dirty! What if we get a disease!?
Knife I'm pretty sure that won't happen.
Soap Step aside, man. Let the professional handle this. (Wipes off the ball then throws it at Apple)
Marshmallow Nice shot!
Soap Thanks! You really think it was? (a dodgeball hits her, causing her to scream)
Left Cherry Box is going down! (throws a ball at Box)
Right Cherry Oh, wow, that actually worked!
Fan Marshmallow! There's something I've always wanted to ask you!
Marshmallow Not the best time, Fan!
Fan J-Just real quick! Why don't you use your time machine an--
Marshmallow Look out! (they both get hit by dodgeballs)
Knife Microphone, we're the only two left!
Microphone I have an idea. (screams, but nothing happens)
Knife That did nothing but make me deaf!
Lightbulb Quick, everyone, use your pelvis-- I mean, your ARMS to get them!
Knife But we have ar-- (gets hit by a dodgeball)
Microphone Oh no, everybody on my team is out! (pushes power button) EXCEPT ME! (screams and throws 2 dodgeballs in the air, the balls bounce on all of the remaining 6 Bright Lights)
MePhone4 Wow, what a macro-win for a microphone!
Cheesy (slaps knee)
MePhone4 So, one of the Bright Lights is going home! Viewers, vote for one member of the Bright Lights to be eliminated! But do NOT vote in the comments!
Toilet Why not?
MePhone4 Because voting is now on inanimateinsanity.com. Use the link in the description. Simply click on the vote button of the contestant you dislike the most. Voting ends on April 8th.
(Credits)
Paper OK! I think every window is repaired! (A dodgeball flies out of nowhere and breaks a window) Oh...

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